So, you think you’re some hotshot because you’ve completed a notoriously difficult obstacle course, conquered your fear of sky diving, or held your breath underwater for more than five minutes? Well, sorry to bust your bubble, but you’ve got nothing on Lara Croft. She can do all that and more before breakfast. In fact, one of her most impressive spectacles to date (Tomb Raider II) involves:
- Outrunning two massive boulders at least 20 times her own mass which somehow activate just in time to roll towards and pulverise her if she’s crippled by indecision
- Dodging a set of deadly spikes which are conveniently placed on the continuing path to keep her brain stimulated (a wonderful substitute for reading the classics)
- Quickly leaping out of a subsequent pit as spike-encrusted walls become sentient and start to close in menacingly from either side
- Jogging across a whole row of unstable tiles up ahead, while simultaneously vaulting over spears that surge from claustrophobically designed walls in unexpected fashion
- And finally, sprinting past four additional sets of spike-encrusted walls that are also advancing towards her for the ultimate full-body piercing adventure
But that’s all in a day for this British trailblazer. We’ll no doubt be treated to more thrilling performances of this sort in her next outing — I hear she’s disrupted a sacred Mayan ritual, so things are already looking up.
